MY TESTIMONY

I'm an unexpected child. My older brother was just a year and a few months old when my mother found out she was pregnant with me. Since my parents planned to space the birth of their kids, the small age gap made them want to lose me. So they tried taking different kinds of abortion pills for over a month until a friend of my mother told them there's nothing that can ever stop God's plan.

When I was two years old, I almost died because of Bronchial Pneumonia. One hospital refused to take me in. Another urged my parents to sign a waiver to suck the fluid surrounding my lungs right away or it could mean death for me. My parents signed no waiver seeing the high risk of me having polio after the aspirating. They believed at that time that neither polio nor death was God's plan. On the 3rd day at the hospital, Pneumonia had left me just as they believed it would and I was released from the hospital in perfect health.

At the age of six, I was already aware that God existed. I remember the times when my older brother and I were kneeling side by side asking God to bring in a baby boy in the family. I wasn't really sure how God would do that. But when I saw my mama talking to her huge tummy like someone was in there, I knew our prayer had been answered. I'd always get my way over my two brothers being the only girl. I recall always feeling good being the apple of my father's eye.

I was raised in a Catholic home, baptized as an infant, and confirmed when I was a teenager. As a family, we went to mass services on Sundays. My parents instilled in me high moral standards. Growing up, I never had the desire to do drugs, smoke, gamble, be drunk, hang out in club, etc. Not because I saw how bad those things were in the eyes of God, I didn't care about God at all.  As far back as I can remember, I also didn't want the misery and the pain those habits or addictions would cause to the people doing it and to the people around them.

Ever since I was a kid, I saw my passion for teaching the youth, and I wanted to be a Math teacher. Finished my Bachelor's Degree at 20. Younger girls looked up to me because their parents told them that I'm someone worthy to be emulated in a world full of young women who have wandered aimlessly. But you see, people look at the outward appearance and they judge by what they see on the outside. I was pretty much clean in people's eyes. That's what I believed so, too. 

TURNING POINT:

Fast forward to 2012, I was 23 then - earning, had out of town adventures once or twice a month with friends, and attending Graduate School just as I planned. But I've never felt so useless and unproductive. I remember asking God He has to do something. July of 2012, I resigned from my job of almost 3 years in the BPO industry. I was then looking forward to working in the teaching field maybe it would explain the feeling of unfulfillment.

Few weeks after my resignation, I felt an unexplainable pain on my breasts. It was so excruciatingly painful to the point that I couldn't sleep at night. Having my aunt died from breast cancer made me check my breasts and I found few lumps on both. My mother was horrified because I didn't want to go to the hospital even for a check-up. I thought if it was God's plan for me then there's no need to spend a fortune and die eventually. I remember how my mother would say "read the Bible and hang on to it." And I tried but I couldn't really understand so it was pointless to even open it. The pain grew stronger as the weeks passed. I just knew deep down inside that if I'm gonna die, I knew where exactly I'd be. 

Until one night in September, I found myself crying my heart out while in pain:
Jesus, I know You are able to heal me. I believe You are the greatest physician. All the people You touched while You were walking on earth got healed. Only You can take out these lumps from my body. This pain. If You could just touch me, then I will be healed. 

Along those lines that's what I remembered telling Him while crying to sleep curled up like a baby in my bed. For years, I knew what I was supposed to believe. But that night, my faith was finally placed in Jesus Christ as a little child, trusting, and helpless. The next morning, I felt so light that I knew immediately something happened! I tried to find the lumps but I couldn't!!!! To make sure I wasn't just hallucinating, I told my mother to check them and she was already crying because she couldn't find them too!

ENCOUNTERSHIP WITH THE LORD:

That morning I can never forget. I was on my knees crying, my hands lifted high, my heart bursting...
It's You, Jesus! Oh God, You touched me! You are real! You are here! Forgive me for every sin that I committed! Please take over my life from now on! It is now Yours, God! I surrender! Use me as an instrument of Your will! I wanna know You! I wanna follow You! Let Your will be done in my life! 

I couldn't contain my joy - I was dancing with tears in my eyes praising Him which I have never done before! I just couldn't believe that God Himself heard me. I couldn't believe He is real!!! I was so moved then I was back on my knees crying. As I was surrendering my life to Him, my eyes were pointed to the direction where the Bible was. I stopped crying and had this question mark on my face. My gaze was fixed on the Bible and I thought to myself, "what am I going to do with it?" There was an urge to get it and to start from there and I held it in my hands. There was this still, small voice that I heard, "I want a relationship with you." My tears started falling again!

I was definitely blown away by the things He made me see. HIS LOVE FOR ME. Suddenly John 3:16 makes sense now! For God so loved the world and Jesus accomplished this by taking all of my sins onto Himself on the cross! I was supposed to pay for all the sins that I committed! I was supposed to pay for my sins! But He did it for me. He was treated and put to death as a criminal when the criminal was me! Why would He do that?! But I saw His Love. I saw His mercy. I saw His holiness. I saw His righteousness. I saw His glory. And it was almost magical when He brought light to the dark parts of my life! I looked at all the sins I committed and I was very much disgusted with myself! The more I saw God's love for me through Jesus, the more I see how horrible a sinner I was and needed His forgiveness! 

I saw my pride. My want to be the center of attraction. My being envious, greedy, selfish, gossiper, backbiter, manipulative, pretentious, my lying tongue, and my foul mouth cussing people I didn't like. My hurt and anger after losing my virginity when I was 19 to a man whom I thought loved me but forced me to have sex when I wanted to wait till marriage. My fornication in that short affair. My insecurity, my hateful, condemning self after having been cheated on and lied to. My anger, bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness for years. The lustful thoughts, watching porn, and masturbation. I saw the life that I built on lies and masks. Oh, how I was crying over my sins!

And I started seeing how God has always been there even before I was born! I could have been born with a defect from those abortion pills my mother took, but He protected me when I was in my mother's womb! How He showed Himself to me so many times before flashed through my mind like film! How could He be so patient with me?! How He has been pursuing me just made me cry even more. God literally crushed my pride! It was His goodness that led me to repentance!!!

23 years of living, I was the one who prayed to God and some other gods, vowed down, touched, kissed carved images of Jesus, Mother Mary, Joseph and other invented local gods - yes that was all I had. God was nothing but a religious and distant figure to me. We went after miraculous places to another to feel His presence to bring our petitions, went to church every Sunday and went home the same person - WICKED and UNREPENTANT. We did rituals after rituals, memorized prayers, but none of them touched my heart. They have just become religious habits. I only did what I felt like doing or what seemed right in my eyes. All I had was religion. I didn't care about Him. I was even more worried about what people thought of me and what they would say than God's opinion of me. What's worse is that I only wanted what God could give, but I didn't really want Him nor His word. I treated Him like my personal genie. Give me this, give me that. There were no convictions because I was only religious. And guess what, being religious doesn't make one spiritual. Religious practices don't give anyone spiritual life.  I just complied with a set of "good behaviors" for the sake of good reputation. 

That day I poured everything out to God where I wept for hours. God knew I was hungry. He knew I was dying spiritually. He knew everything about me! At that time, I honestly didn't know what was happening to me. But now I know that I was being purged of every single sin I'd ever committed and being cleansed and being filled with the Holy Spirit. 

BABE IN THE WALK:

Since that day, my life has taken a 180 degree turn. It's crazy how I wanted nothing else but HIM! It grieved my spirit when I watched shows on TV or movies that do not glorify Him. I couldn't spend any more time in front of the TV. I stopped listening to secular music. Reading sensual stories and horoscopes didn't sit right with me anymore. I started journaling every day - writing every thing I was learning, every thing that was in my heart, and every single thing that I felt God was speaking to me. I spent hours each day reading the Bible and meditating on His word. I didn't have that before. I knew the Lord was doing something with the total turnaround in me because I realized I could change my mind, but I couldn't change my heart. He took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh when I repented of my sins. He gave me a new heart and put a new spirit within me as He said in Ezekiel 36:26.

Nobody convinced me to come to Jesus. But by His marvelous grace it pleased Him to reveal His Son to me so that I would share the Good News of Christ. He began showing me that only He can satisfy. That I can try to fill the void in my heart with anything (things, food, people, relationships, achievements) but none of them really satisfy. And I began to live holy as I continue to study the Word, pray and fast. In the first weeks after my conversion, it was NOT EASY because the new faith went against everything I had been taught growing up. My parents got very disappointed because I left the Catholic teachings. I was ridiculed. Some people didn't want to associate with me anymore because I was all Jesus. I didn't have Christian friends. I still went to a Catholic church in the hopes of observing the Sunday routine of going to church and tried to join their bible study for a week, but I wasn't fed spiritually. So I decided  to just stay at home and read the Word letting the Holy Spirit teach me. Even though there was no one around who could help me with the new walk, comfort or teach me - but the Holy Spirit was my Helper, Teacher, and Comforter. Everything Jesus said about the Holy Spirit is true. I just wanted all my time to sit still in His presence that for over a year I didn't have the interest to find work. It was crazy how I entirely lost interest in the world and its ways. And my desire to know Him and to be closer to Him grew stronger. Now I know God was setting me apart at that time. And as I began to delight myself in Him, He changed my desires. His desires for my life became my desire. 

The Apostle Paul calls this experience becoming a new creation or becoming "born again" because of the work of the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun." 

I realize how necessary it is to remain in close communion with God. Over time, I have seen the Lord freed me from many bad habits leading to sin since day one and there were some that didn't disappear overnight. And that's how I started to learn the importance of dying to self daily. The process of the purging and the healing from the damage of sin in my life wasn't easy, but necessary! My efforts to prove my worth to people He changed with calmness surrendering into His hands and a desire to bring Him glory. No longer do I want people's approval, but only what He approves. He is the most important person, with or without an audience.

I remember praying for every person I know that they may know and encounter Jesus. I would grieve and weep for hours longing for the salvation of the souls around me. And since I didn't know anyone in my city who's truly walking with the Lord, I began to follow people on social media who love Jesus and fellowshiped with them. And I get encouraged every day in my walk. And that's how I realized the growing need of a local community as Hebrews 10:25 challenges. Not knowing where I should go, I prayed that God would lead me to the right place or to a group of people that I could grow with spiritually or that at least He would show me what His will is for me. Then God gave me a very specific dream on March 7, 2013 that blew my mind away and continues to encourage me to run the race set before me. Here's a Link to the dream!

I started getting dreams and visions of all sorts. Calamities, people needing help, where to go, what's about to happen, what I'm dealing with, who I'm dealing with, etc. I always get goosebumps especially when they come to pass! God is always speaking to us - through His Word, small still voice in our heart, circumstances, people, dreams, visions, & etc.. What's amazing is that He knows best how to get our attention! There were also times demons come through my dreams to strangle me and stop me from preaching the name of Jesus. Needless to say, spiritual warfare is real!

In 2014, I entered the teaching field where I have seen God showed Himself to the people around me. It gives me so much joy knowing that people's eyes are opened to the truth. In the same year, I found a Christ-centered church with a group of believers. I was also bringing people to the church to join with our fellowship once a week, feeding ministry, and for the Sunday church service.

Early 2016, a day came when the conviction of just sitting in the pews every Sunday was so strong. I was led to have a personal study on the book of Acts where it took me months. I know now that it was God making me examine my faith and opening my eyes to the things He wanted me to see. The more I read the Book of Acts, the more I see myself living so far from the life of the early disciples. And so I asked myself, if I truly am a follower of Christ as I claim to be, then why is my life not as even close as Jesus' disciples who were Not bound to sin, able to heal sicknesses, cast out demons, shared the Gospel with power, etc.. We have the same God, but why do I feel like I'm only getting head knowledge, but no power and life? Why do I not see demonstration of God's power? Where is the "come and follow me" kind of discipleship in the church? So many questions in my head. I wondered if there are people really living the life now like the early church lived. I kept praying and waiting on God for a miracle. 

End of 2016, I came across a documentary film of Spirit-filled believers who live and move that which I read in the Book of Acts. A lot of questions were answered. I decided I want that life God has for His people. I'm so fed up with sin and self, and not being able to walk in the identity, calling and purposes of God.

January 2017, by the grace of God, He had His way! I came over where few disciples could help me. I repented of the sins I still loved, then I got baptized in water (immersion) and with the Holy Spirit (with the evidence of tongues). The fire God kindled within me on the day of my redemption continues to even burn brighter and hotter!

Seeing the changes in me, my friends and my younger brother desired the same thing. And just as they believed the Gospel that I shared with them - they were set free, baptized, and received Him. Some of my students came to the faith, too. This is when we started meeting at homes for teaching, breaking bread, fellowship, and prayer - following the pattern of the New Testament churches. It is so simple and special. It's so awesome when the people gathering really know each other, get to talk and relate how God is personally working in and through our lives. The bond is deep, sharpening, and empowering one another for the expansion of His kingdom -  all aiming to grow toward Christlikeness.

My love has become deeper for Him and for people as I continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our LORD and Savior Jesus Christ. All I know is that LOVE is the most powerful weapon. God continues to lead me to people, groups of people whom I can fellowship with, teach, and/or learn from. I am privileged to lead others into the same walk and see them leading others, too. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I'm able to lay hands on the sick and see healing instantly or gradually, discern spirits, cast out demons, and baptize people in water and of the Holy Spirit. Not because I'm a very special person, but because God is so crazy faithful. What He says in the word He always does. He only requires that we believe then we will see it come alive because guess what? The Holy Spirit moving during the early church is the same Holy Spirit at work today. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Bless God.

I do not belong to a certain denomination. Whether we realize it or not, God did not manifest in flesh so we could belong to one. The first disciples were not concerned about belonging to one at all. You would be surprised there are no denominations in heaven. My only desire is to belong to Jesus and to follow His leading in doing His will. And I love His church (the believers, individually and corporately) so much that I hate the system of the modern churchianity that's hindering people to come to the life that God has for us in Christ Jesus. The church has become lifeless and powerless because we are not allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us. Instead, we are moving and operating under the traditions, systems, and pressure of men. The result? Lives are not transformed, no repentance, no holiness, no visible fruits (sanctification and multiplication) in our lives.

My life did not go from being imperfect to perfect  (the state of being sinless). I still make mistakes (not equal to deliberately sinning) but by His grace growing in repentance. Paul asks us (believers) to put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created us. Do I get tempted? Yes. Who doesn't? Jesus was tempted. The only difference between Him and us was that He did not sin. And He told us to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily if we desire to come after Him. And by renewing my mind it means handling temptations through the knowledge of the finished work of Christ - believing that sin is no longer my master will get me through. And that He is faithful He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we're able and always makes the way of escape.

I'm living a single life and have vowed to stay abstinent from sex since 2008 till marriage because Jesus is my LORD and my body is His temple. I'm a 24/7 disciple working as a teacher. Most of my free time, I'm somewhere preaching the Gospel, healing the sick, praying for people, connecting  and helping other believers to step out in faith.

This life is not all rainbows and sunshine. Since I've decided to follow Him, I went through numerous mockings, life-threatening persecutions, and attacks but this is the life. Jesus promised this to those who will follow Him. But here is a proven truth: In Him, there is peace that surpasses all understanding. In Him, there is real rest. In Him, there is true joy even when you're in pain. Blessed are those who trust in Him. Bless Him.

With each new step that the Lord takes me, I am experiencing the reality of His truths which before I just knew in my head. He is definitely changing my life everyday! He wants my heart and for me to walk with Him everyday! And my desire is to focus in giving my heart to the One who loved me first. And to let His Spirit have His way in me so I might live a life abundant as His faithful servant - making use of everything He has given me to lovingly reach out to the lost, set the captives free, serve and disciple people to do the same.

Thank you for reading my story! My prayer is that you will be encouraged to believe that just as our Lord has healed me, saved me from myself, given me freedom and new life - He is willing and able to do the same for you!

I want to encourage you. You, who are reading this...I don't know what your story is, what you've done, what has been done to you, where you've been or what you're going through right now. But God can give you a brand new life. There is no one so wicked and so broken that God cannot forgive and save. If you've never opened your heart to God, now is the time! The Holy Spirit will do what your own flesh cannot and that is to change your life and fill it with the God's plan. A life that is not empty, but a life of meaning and purpose. You are created to know your Creator and have a rich relationship with Him.

And if you're someone who thinks you're safe by doing good, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news - even if you're the kindest, honest, or the most generous person in the whole world - your good deeds will never be enough. God doesn't operate with a weighing scale with good deeds on one side and the bad on the other. I wish that was the case. We were created to be in fellowship with God just like Adam and Eve walked before sin came in. Sin separates us from Him.  And for that very reason, God came down as a man to destroy the works of the devil so for everyone who believes could experience the newness of life and be restored in fellowship with Him. He is calling you back to Him, will you answer Him?

Romans 3:23  for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

John 3:7 Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life. So don't be surprised when I say, "you must be born again."

2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

Acts 2:38-39,  Peter said unto them, "REPENT, and be BAPTIZED every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall RECEIVE the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call."

Mark 16:16-18, Jesus says, "He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

Luke 10:17-22

The seventy-two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” And He said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you. Nevertheless, DO NOT rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

Ephesians 2:8-9, For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Colossians 2:6-7 

"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to FOLLOW Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."

Revelation 12:11

And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.